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hold · on
the dream says
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today is the day... i made my mom a charles bukowski fan.
my teacher told me i have beautiful feet.
i made a mixed cd. (i wish mixed tapes were still cool)
i shaved my legs (finally)
i listened to a lot of really really good music.
i missed.
i smiled a lot.
i got butterflies.
i will dye hair.
i will ride subways with costumes.
i will drink my fathers beer.
i will reminiss with her.
everything will change.
that i never thought would come.
i've been waiting for. today is the day
i end this journal.
the ones that cared, will follow me to ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) moderntease. cheers.
happy halloween.
see you in another life when we are all cats. 
in my ears: |
beating heart baby-head automatica | |
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i've been a party girl lately. i've been living downtown. i've had late late nights and early sick to my stomach mornings. but they've all been worth it. i'm watching my life and my age morph, and it's going at a pretty fast pace. tonight i'll wear my costume on the subway and all the torontonians will stare. it'll be a good stare and a good night and great to see people i havent seen in months. she'll dress like a cat, i know she will. and we'll drink our rum and take our pictures and cheer to new beginnings and no ends. this diary feels old and a little uninvited. if you'd like to follow me to a new one, leave a comment and let me know why.
in my ears: |
false advertising-bright eyes | |
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i'm too hungover to recount all the little details from last night, but it was probably one of my favourite birthdays ever. i went over to jen's super early, and we worked on some horrible school project while she slaved over the stove - cooking me dinner. she nearly burnt the house down, but is still a way better cook than me. she made me my favourite food of all - green beans. on top of that she made chicken, perogies, and fries. most hilarious meal of my life. we made a shirt for zac's birthday that says "I Dig Greek Girls.... and Polish!" He's going to love it. Jen and i were contemplating making more shirts and selling them on the streets downtown. we got ready and stepped out into the pouring rain and went downtown. the green room was perfect. great music, lights all around, candles in beer bottles lighting up the room. rach got me a beer drinking card game and strawberry massage oil, james got me ani difranco's so much shouting/so much laughter and a tori amos book of sheet music, (thank you thank you thank you.) jen got me an awesome hurley hoodie, cute undies, and lip palm, and kristen got me nailpolish and dance shorts. jamie showed up and had some drinks with us before he ran off to the reverb, james bought me a tequila shot which was super nice, all of us chugged back so much beer and took a million pictures. mike, logan, zac, matt, dana, greg, and andrea showed up later on. dana unfortuntely couldn't bring finger eleven since they were up north, and it was amazing to see andrea - my dance partner from 10 years ago. i even had another LJ sighting. on the way to the bathroom i spotted linkkk on the payphone. toronto's so big, but you always manage to see someone. i was probably the most drunk i've ever been last night, but it was well deserved and worth it. 21 is supposed to be a good year for me, and it's already started off with a bangbangbang. jen and rachel really took care of me last night. they held my hands all the way home, and i wouldn't of survived if it weren't for them. i've got the best friends in the world. some i've known my whole life, some who i've felt i've known my whole life, some i just met, some i haven't seen in years that had the heart to come out and celebrate, and some that were never friends until now. i really know who my real friends are. i have the most amazing week ahead of me. i'm fucking jumping off the walls, even with this hangover. my dad's side is coming over for cake&coffee, so i must get my ass in gear. i hope these hilarious pictures work. (you can only see these pics if you have msn. just sign in and you'll be able to see)
A whole slide show of drunken birthday pictures
in my ears: |
superstition-stevie wonder | |
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the best night of life, in tweny-one years, was last night. jen&i were in kin class, some girl farted behind us, and i got my very first D on a test. you would think it was the worst day, but everything turned around after that. we laughed at the farter, i forgot about the horrible grade, and we went downtown. we dropped by the horseshoe to watch the hockey game, but there were no seats by the bar - so we got outta there quickfast and popped inside a cute little bar that was almost completely empty. we cheered over coronas and watched the game with the bartender. we watched stajan score a kickass goal, said our goodbyes to the bartender that wanted to be our friend, and made our way over to The Bovine Sex Club. for some reason, i had the biggest mouth last night and couldn't shut up. when we came up to the club, we stood outside of it like the idiots we are..wondering if we were at the right place. a group of familiar looking guys eyed us, and i told jen that i thought i saw jamie (the guy who invited us to this little soiree). two seconds later, jamie's in our face. "So you guys made it!!" "Ooh you bet we did." we chatted for a few minutes about music and when they'd be on stage, and then he took off with his band for some drinks and we went inside. he is seriously the nicest person i've ever met in my life. the first band started up, and they sounded like staind. jen was a tank, and drank her beer faster than i did. you're really buildin that tolerance girl ;) this drunk man sitting beside jenna starts talking to her. i turn around to see what they're talking about and he says to me, "You would be the perfect human being if you dyed your hair black and grew it long." Oh sorry man. Been there done that already. "Trust me. I'm the only straight guy in here who has any fashion sense." Hahahaha. "You 're already goodlooking, but that would just make you perfect." Then he disappeared. He was like a scary drunken angel. Where do these people come from? soon enough, Il Attire (jamie's band) is setting up, we take a pee break in the tiny pink and black bathroom, grab a brew and stand right at the front. they begin, and they immediately remind me of placebo. the lead singer is amazing. jamie's on keyboards which just makes him even better. j and i are snapping shots left right and centre. they even did a cover of U2's Hold me Thrill me Kiss me Kill me. after they finished off the set, we waited around to talk to the band. sure enough, jamie comes walking over to us and we're gushing. AMAZING. GET A CD ALREADY. WHEN'S YOUR NEXT SHOW. Tenth Planet starts setting up, and we're all talking like three people who have known each other their entire lives. jamie,libra,22,from muskoka,lives downtown,hawksley workman taught him how to play drums,has played piano since he was seven. (like me) Tenth Planet starts playing and we make fun of the faces the guitarist is making and talk about how they resemble Deftones. each of the band members walks by and Jamie introduces us. OE (singer - sounds exactly like brian molko). then we shake hands with the basist who looks like peter sarsgaard from garden state. jamie pinches the basist's ass, and he thinks it was me. we shake hands with the drummer who looks like he could be forty. all of them are so nice. jamie stays with us the entire time and we talk and talk and talk. hawksley workman's manager stands beside us, so jamie introduces himself and she tells him she wants a demo of their band. amazing news. the band wants us to send them the pictures we took, so we exchange email and numbers. jen and i feel like we need to be pinched. there are still real, good, rockstars in toronto - with big hearts and amazing talent. it's 1 in the morning, and our time is running out by muse plays in the background. ironic? i think so. we sing along and say our goodbyes. jamie is a good hugger and there are some whispers. next show: horseshoe december 6th. there are so many things i'm leaving out because i want to and because some of them just can't be put into words. listen to this band or check them out at their site. they're amazing, beautiful musicians who need to be heard. i needed this night. on top of a great night, mike got me three bukowski books for my birthday. all of which i’ve never read before. i can’t wait to open them up and dig in. ( The Bovine Sex Club )
in my heart: |
 ecstatic |
in my ears: |
tripping on a stepping stone-il attire | |
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wow. where do i begin? i watch chick flicks and part of the leaf game with my dad last night. i head on over to gay and proud, and meet up with jen to subway it downtown. the subway ends up breaking down, and we have to bus it to the nearest station. a man with two bag fulls of fish sits beside me and an arab looking man stands infront of me - staring directly at me for a good 15 minutes. i put a fake gun to my head as i look at jenna. there was a stalker staring at me with his crotch in my face and it smelt like pussy beside me. gotta love scarborough buses. we finally make it, hop on the subway, and mr. arab man follows us and decides to sit directly across from us. he was starting to creep me out and i wanted to say something, but the two of us laughed it off. we get off at college and realize it's going to be the longest walk of our lives, so we flag down a cabby and i call wilhelmicus repeatedly, telling him how sorry we are and that we're going to be late. almost an hour after we said we were going to meet, we're standing outside of Cobalt - and i'm thinking that Will has definitely given up on us. but, we turned around and he was magically there. the atmosphere of Cobalt was awesome. great music, tables with candlelight, cute little booths for couples in love. we had to yell over the music to hear each other though and it was a pretty tiny place, so i don't think i'll go there for my birthday anymore. anywho, we talk and talk over beer and rum n'cokes, have a pee break, take some pics, and talked porn. when we were about to leave, this guy walks over to our table and kneels down between jen&moi. jen knees me under the table and we're kneeing each other back and forth constantly. he pulls out a card and asks us if we like alternative rock. our eyes light up and we're like silly little schoolgirls. he tells us to come by the bovine sex club to check out his band. we say we'll be there. i ask him his name. jamie. he asks me mine. i have to repeat it twice before he understands. jenna introduces herself. we shake hands. he has a kind, soft handshake. we say goodbye. we walk outside, and say our goodbyes to will. we call up zac and ask him if he wants some company. he's drinking alone, so we streetcar it over to his place and crash with him for the night. we blasted system of a down and danced around his room for what felt like the entire Mezmerize album. we were so happy. old snl episodes played out on the tv screen, as the three of us cuddled together in the cold family room. the guys who live downstairs, showed up around 4 in the morning..banging on the door. completely drunk. we said our hello's i gave a high five to mr. sean treeby. i talked to some random guy, who was telling me that the night was still young. what party animals. zac blasted Bush X to drown out the noise. i fell asleep at 5 in the morning as Glycerine played out in the background. this weekend has flown by.
it's already depressing sunday, but this week seems hopeful.
thanks for meeting up with us again, will.
thanks for being my partner in crime, jen.
thanks for a second home, zacariah.
thanks for happiness, heart. ( the best pictures of my life )
in my heart: |
 silly |
in my ears: |
the blue roses-rookie of the year | |
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i'm listening to a lot of dave matthews and thinking about my life, my decisions, the secrets my heart whispers to me; telling me not to look, not to cave, not to collapse. i've had to say so long to my heart for a little while. it was peer pressuring me. it was like a drug i was addicted to. i would listen to it, and it would temporarily make me feel safe and secure, euphoric and ecstatic. but hearts run dry and tire. they need battery. they need honesty. i left my heart in a lot of places for these last couple of months. aisle five seat 20 on bus number 2121. rivergrove drive. the middle seat of the middle row in the movie theatre. various places on campus; especially studio a. 453 brock. fountainhead. the mosh pit at humber. the empty restroom where my best friend and i go to confess and catch up. hearts are usually not only kept, but spilled there. i have left it everywhere but here; in this room, in this body, in this chest. i needed to be away from its drama and its heartache. i needed to feel without feeling, ache without aching, breathe without breathing. pump pump, it's back now, pumppumppump, it quickens now, pump.... pump, it misses now. pump..
pump..
i'll be okay now. --- stole this from iloveyourway
please post anonymously. tell me why you read this.
tell me how old you are.
tell me if you are straight or gay or a bit of both.
tell me a scary story. scary can me spooky, embarassing. whatever scary means to you.
tell me something no one knows about you.
tell me why you love me.
in my ears: |
where do i begin-shirley bassey (lovethissong!) | |
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chris cornell and tom morello are very, very beautiful men.
in my ears: |
like a stone-audioslave | |
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Since the majority of my school is made up of Jewish people, i had today off (and tomorrow) since it's good ol' rosh hashanah. I slept in and i remember having a dream where i was at a carnival and went on that swing ride. I woke up and read and studied and enjoyed my tuesday off. Tonight i'm drinking month old beer and playing the piano like it's my job. I learned a bunch of new songs... but i'm still looking for aimee's mann's wise up. The best i could do was get the first page... but the internet doesn't like to give out free sheet music very often. And if you're wondering what to get yours truly for her 21st birthday this year... here's a hint. I've been in a piano playing mood lately. Twenty-five years ago today, my parents got married. My mother always liked the Fall. I guess she was happy when i was born in it. I guess they never thought they'd resort to posted notes as a means of communication or that they'd seperate by the time their only daughter turned sixteen. I guess we never imagine our lives to fall apart or turn rotten like a old banana. But i guess what's so good about life, is that instead of throwing it out - we have the option of turning into new fruits. Today i'm a peach and my parents are plums. They're friends now. It's better this way. I've been bored...so i videotaped myself singing/playing a couple ditties. Enjoy <3 Me singin Secret Garden by Bruce Springsteen
And me singin the first page of Aimee Mann's Wise Up. It's horrible but this is me on a usual tuesday night. i look like i'm so into it! (which i am) but i just find myself really hilarious tonight. cheers, beers, and brassiere's, -ash
in my heart: |
 peaceful |
in my ears: |
wise up-aimee mann | |
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theres a pair of red and white mens socks i refuse to put on and matching pillow cases i refuse to lay my head upon love makes my bedroom become a sad memory i have so much walking to do
not enough running
not enough hand holding
not enough heads in hands
where did romance run
and can i get on that race? sylvia says that we leave our bodies
two to three times a week while we dream
just ask god to let you remember where you go, she said
where will i fly tonight?
a los angeles celebrity mansion
a boy's bedroom
the streets of paris
my grandfathers grave
or maybe i'll stay right here;
exactly where i am supposed to be
exactly where i don't want to be astral project me to a better place
if only with eyes closed.
in my ears: |
pink emerson radio-kathleen edwards | |
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This entry is addressed to everyone and anyone who is reading this post. I want you to post anything that you want. Anything at all. Post a short story, a poem, a thought, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love declaration, a song I should download, a film I should see, a photograph you'd like to share, a question you want me to answer, you can tell me what you think of me, or something random on your mind - anything. Be sure to post anonymously and honestly. Post twice, or as many times that you'd like, and then cut & paste this into your LJ to see what your friends (and perhaps others who you don't even realize read your LJ) have to say. I want you to post anything that you want.
in my heart: |
 hyper |
in my ears: |
kentucky avenue-tom waits | |
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Last night, my hyped up on caffeine cousin and my lazy self, booted it over to the mall so i could pick up my mom's birthday gifts. I am clearly not rich right now (nor have i ever been), so i picked up the movie Unfaithful for her - because she is a hardcore fan of diane lane, and i got the new Bon Jovi album for her as well. I think i could only buy that cd in Wal*mart without getting embarassed. My mom is so funny sometimes. She called me at home yesterday, and when i picked up the phone and said hello - there was silence. I kept saying "mom, hello? what?" and all of a sudden she blasts Don't Cha by the pussy cat dolls in my ear. Then she came on the line and started singing away. As if she doesn't sing that song enough at home already. I'm beginning to think we're not related, but then that all changes when i look in the mirror and realize we look exactly the same. Tonight i'm going out dancing (hopefully) on queen street. Sometimes you just have to sweat it all out. What exactly? I dunno. Life. Thoughts. Your heart. Everyone must go to this site and check out my drumming teachers band. He's on tour for the next two weeks, so i don't have class. I'm pretty bummed about that one, but i'm going to go out and see them when they hit toronto. I recommend the song The Invitation. <3 ( pics from the pilate/finger eleven show )
in my heart: |
 awake |
in my ears: |
the invitation-mr. something something | |
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With my tea in hand and dog on my lap, i sat and watched my beta copy of disturbing behaviour last night. I had to laugh at how pathetic i looked..but it was worth it to watch Nick Stahl prance around on screen in a hoody. Just when i cracked a beer and began writing, jenna called me up and we made plans to go to karaoke once again. The place was pretty deserted, but we got up and sang nonetheless. I don't think jenna and i have ever sang sober, because when we got up there to sing Vindicated, we could not stop laughing. We even got it on tape. One of the most embarassing moments ever. Luckily the dj didn't care, and was happy we were having a good time. James showed up thankfully after that horrible randition, we all had some beers and took hilarious pictures, and i finally got my chance to get up there and sing springsteen's Brilliant Disguise. Best song of my life. We ended up going back to amandas, only to drink and dance the night away. Last night was my night to be a stupid 15 year old drinker who doesn't know any better. I mixed beer with gin, vodka, and tequilla. Worst idea of my life. Today i'm paying for it.
Tonight i'm going to the toronto film festival and i'm excited.
Tonight's a full moon, i feel like i'm over the place, and i like it. ( without you; life is a hangover without an end )
in my heart: |
nervous |
in my ears: |
got you where i want you-the flys | |
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wow. i cannot get over what an amazing time we all had last night. after excrutiating dance classes on monday and a trip to james' apartment to hear him strum his guitar, i headed downtown to mike/zac/logans place. we grabbed dinner and i played oldschool mario brothers 3 nintendo, until it shut off on me. when jenna arrived, we headed to the finger eleven and pilate concert at humber college. it was in the cutest little amphitheatre outside, and apparentely 1000 people were supposed to show up. we spotted danielle and gavin sitting front row centre, and i was in my glory to be so close. (i never thought we'd get even closer as the night went on) teenage rocker chicks started standing right by the stage, so jen and i made a bolt for it...and stood right at the front as well, right up against a gate. Pilate finally came on and i totally forgot how much i loved that band. they were mind-blowing live. the guitarist was on fire. and don't even get me started on the lead singer, todd clark. he played the keyboard perfectly. jenna loved the way his lips looked when he sang real loud. he had a great smile and sound. i was compelled to want to buy all of their cds and merchandise, they were that incredible. the not so incredible part of the night, however, was when a fat girl decided to get on some guy's shoulders and flash the roadies and then flash the crowd. i wasn't in the mood for boobies. Finally - FINGER ELEVEN took the stage. i don't think i ever screamed louder. besides the time when i met them, i had never been that close to them before in my life. the crowd went absolutely insane. i've never been in the hardest part of the mosh pit before, and jen and i definitely thought we were going to be killed. 200 pound guys were flying over our heads and hundreds of drunks pushed up against us. i thought i'd at least break a bone or my bracelet or both. i held on to jenna, the security guards handsome hands, and the gate for dear life - as we sang along loudly to every single song. i think us two chiquitta's were the only two sober/sane fans there. scott smiled at us drunkenly, and i swear he was staring at me for certain songs. maybe he remembered our conversation we had about A.F.I...or maybe i was just seeing things like the groupie that i am. they closed with good times and i jumped up and down with my best friend, never feeling happier than that moment. music will always be the best drug. the boys left the stage, jen and i both got signed guitar pics, she got a setlist, and mike grabbed a drumstick. i told james, the guitarist, that he was awesome and he looked me straight in the eye and said thank you. just when we thought we were all rockstarred out, Todd Clark stodd beside us and we couldn't help but shake his hand and tell him how incredibly kickass his band was. he signed our tickets and i knew i could die happy. we were high for the rest of the night back at the apartment, over gatorade and mr. noodles and beer. mike let jen&i crash in his bed, and we hung our bras on the door handle for the drunk boys to see. mike wore them over his head and i laughed the night away. downtown. new places. concerts for 4 bucks. favourite bands. best friends. sweat. smiles. this is my happiness.
pictures to follow soon.
<3ash  <--todd clark, such a humble musician. <3
in my heart: |
ecstatic |
in my ears: |
perfect thrill-pilate | |
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last night was peachy. jen came over early and we danced around my room making up dances to silly songs and videotaping them. i'm thinking about actually posting them up on here. rach came by, we caught a bit of that Reunion show (which i'm already addicted to btw), and sat down and watched old dance recital tapes until amanda and julia showed up. by 11, the five of us girls were back at the bar...filling out karaoke slips and saying cheers and having some beers. we sang 'like a prayer' and lisa loeb's 'stay', like we always do. jen and i wanted to sing vindicated to get her in the mood for the up and coming dashboard confessional show, but the place was busy - so we'll have to save it for next time. we danced while old people sang, julia and amanda smoked a joint with the bouncer which was hilarious, and we went home after last call - as always. <3 i stumbled into my house pretty drunk, and woke up this morning in pain. my first dance class yesterday really beat me up. i can't even move today. will someone come over and give me a massage? i would pay you. so the first week back to school is over and done with, and it feels like it's going to be a very good but very long year. i've already got a 5 dollar finger eleven show to go to this monday, and a Maple Leafs game to look forward to in december. life's not too bad, and i've got the best girls in my life.
( take me to the place i love, take me all the way )
in my heart: |
 sore |
in my ears: |
we are all on drugs-weezer | |
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last night was much needed. it was a grand ol' time at mike, zac, and logans new apartment. the entire night was spent listening to tunes, talking about life and girls and sex while sitting on rooftops, smoking sheesha, sippin beers, and listening to logan and craig play their guitars and sing away. sean treeby even showed up later on, which was a big shocker for all of us. turns out, he was moving in to the place downstairs. small world huh? it's weird how people you haven't seen since highschool suddenly have a way of appearing in your life again. this isn't the first person to come back. makes me wonder if these people are reasons instead of seasons. by 3am, everyone was drunk&burnt out, and i wandered around aimlessly through the apartment - wondering where i would sleep. i was supposed to share the fouton with brad, but he was so unbelievably trashed, that he sprawled himself awkwardly all over the fouton - leaving me no where to sleep. i tried looking for blankets so i could sleep on the floor, but logan was sweet enough to let me crash with him. that boy grinds his teeth hardcore. in the morning, we awoke to loud planes out the window. they were so loud, i actually thought they were terrorist attacks heading straight for the house. i later found out that they were only planes being used in the exhibition show. this afternoon we watched sin city, completely hungover. that movie was mind-blowing. i loved it. at times i actually found myself staring at the tv with my mouth wide open. it was intense. i was pissed that nick stahl was yellow for the majority of the movie, but two thumbs up anyway. cheers to the last weekend of the summer.
see you at christmas brad.
<3 i recorded a couple of videos and took a few photos, so i'll leave you with some drunken shots and Logan singing Santoria.  <---click to watch! ( guys,guitars,a girl )
in my heart: |
hungover |
in my ears: |
secret garden-bruce springsteen | |
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 at the highest point it's pink and the rest of the city canvas is coloured light baby's breath blue. my favourite time of day and no one to share it with. loversandotherstrangers plays as background music in the kitchen, and dogs without soulmates bark real loud in backyard surburbia. a little boy asked me to sing to him today so i opened my mouth and let ani fill the mess. his pupils stayed wide-eyed and wonderous on me. tonight it's a bathtub and me; razorless hairless heartless - soaking in a thursday night lonely. car alarms ring and groups of boys taking drags whistle outside the front window. for a second i am twenty-six razor in hand hair down to my ass but still without heart. i stare straight ahead and he floats at my toes in an old fashioned tub for two. the bubbles cover all the right places (just like in the movies) while his left hand comes up from underneath the water, with my heart in hand. he's holding it now in the waves we share and we are the cleanest of lovers. i dive deep in shallow water and appear just under his chin. i am the safest mermaid with this prince, on a thursday night five years from now. 
in my ears: |
roads-portishead | |
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this is my favourite poem in the world. what do you think? Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Chops"
because that was the name of his dog
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
That was the year Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
And he let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the girl around the corner sent him a
Valentine signed with a row of X's
and he had to ask his father what the X's meant
And his father always tucked him in bed at night
And was always there to do it. Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Autumn"
because that was the name of the season
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
And the kids told him
that Father Tracy smoked cigars
And left butts on the pews
And sometimes they would burn holes
That was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
And the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
And the kids told him why
his mother and father kissed a lot
And his father never tucked him in bed at night
And his father got mad
when he cried for him to do it. Once on a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Innocence: A Question"
because that was the question about his girl
And that's what it was all about
And his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
That was the year that Father Tracy died
And he forgot how the end
of the Apostle's Creed went
And he caught his sister
making out on the back porch
And his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
And the girl around the corner
wore too much makeup
That made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because that was the thing to do
And at three A.M. he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring soundly That's why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
And he called it "Absolutely Nothing"
Because that's what it was really all about
And he gave himself an A
and a slash on each damned wrist
And he hung it on the bathroom door
because this time he didn't think
he could reach the kitchen. -- Taken from The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
in my ears: |
marrow-ani difranco | |
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mike and logan picked me up last night and we headed over to their new apartment downtown. i really liked the place. besides the shakey bannister, it's a really cool quirky place. the bathroom is bright red and i feel sorry for it, for having to put up with three smelly boys. mikes room is an awesome shape, logan got stuck with the smallest one, and zac got lucky and scored the only bedroom with a ceiling fan. the best part about the entire place would definitely have to be the rooftop patio. the three of us sat out there for the night, with beers in hand. toronto was quiet. it was cool but not cold. everything felt really great. i guess i got what i wanted after all; some laughter and an ice cold beer. i packed it in around 4am, and slept in zacs room. in the morning we went for brunch in etobicoke, and mike grabbed a few things from the old apartment, while logan and i played a rousing game of memory and speed with bottle caps. it's save to say i kicked his geeky ass. logan: whats that game where you have to remember where everything is?me: MEMORY. hahaa. as we drove through the downtown streets, we would pass old houses and certain ones would look like something jenna and i would live in. a bright pink house really stood out, and i wished we were moving into it this second, filling it with our music and memories and knick knacks bought at target. one day. i subwayed it back home, while blasting the mars volta in my ears. an asian grandmother wouldn't stop staring at me, all the way to finch station. i don't like starers. if you're going to look at someone, do it non-chalently. i've realized most asians and boys haven't figured the secret to that yet. i've been in a weird mood all day. i don't know whether i want to lie down and finish reading perks for the second time, or whether i should get out of my pjs and go see skeleton key. i'm blah when i don't want to be. motherfucking pms. watching the kiddies starts back up tomorrow. it's going to be a long week, but we've got jenna's bday to celebrate by the end of it. <3 i'm going to get you very drunk miss jenna elyse =) time for dinner/movie.
finally a sunday that doesn't depress me.
in my heart: |
happy |
in my ears: |
southern girl-beck | |
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bored
nostalgic